Dreams, Delivered.

I would like to write this post to my former 16-year-old self, who thought she was on the verge of love, but had a lot to realize. She wrote this post over six years ago, about how lonely high school was, alluding to the tragic fact that she was single and too young to steady date. She never would have expected where she would end up, a surprisingly short seven years later. But here she is-- Here I am. Living the dream which was once deferred. I realize now that my dream was not ripe enough to be plucked and pleasured. Even now, as I live my dream, I realize there are still many dreams yet to be. 

I would also like to write this post to those friends out there who are still waiting for their fairy-tale. 

Have faith, have hope. 

Life blossoms slowly, so I'm told. 

Simply sit back

and watch it unfold. 

Now, on to Langston Hughes:

What happens to a dream deferred? 

Does it dry up 

Like a raisin in the sun? 

Or fester like a sore-- 

Or crust and sugar over-- 

like a syrupy sweet? 

Maybe it just sags 

like a heavy load. 

Or does it explode?

As my teenage self once wrote, dreams are funny things. Nobody knows much about them; I do not think they are feathered, like Hope and like my Self. I think some are like fruit, others like diseases, a few like honey. The majority of humans have dreams that are like homework; most of the time, Average Joe lets his dreams pile up, saying one day he will stop deferring them. He has to carry all those dreams in his pockets and on his back and his room becomes littered with crumpled up dreams, with careless scribbles all over them. One dream usually weighs about as much as notebook paper to Joe, but dreams get heavier as they get older, and they breed like rabbits, or like reports that are due on Mondays... The only thing I knew for sure  back then is that, contrary to some, I needed to dream. I think I was right about that, because... 

Fairy-tales come true. I know this for a fact. A few other facts I know of: Patience is a Virtue, good things come to those who wait, and if you jump you just might fly. I know these things all from experiences, and these things are practically the only things I know for sure. My Once-Upon-A-Time is becoming my Now, as I become Us, me becomes Jacob and me. I know I have had great adventures, and many more are waiting for Us. We have our whole life ahead of us, and that's a long time since at least one of us plans on living until at least 110! And yet...

I remember in high school, when my dreams were deferred, I wanted to stamp my foot, and pull my hair, and roll my eyes at Heaven. I had thought my dreams would go supernova on me and explode, as Langston put it.

Now I understand a little better,
Heaven begs me to dream and will give 
what I ask for, every time, 
even if it is not always in the expected time frame. 

I want to tell all of you, especially those friends of mine who are single or who are struggling through the stages of transforming their dreams to reality:

To defer a dream is not to let it sit there, and ferment, and possibly let it disappear. Instead, some dreams must grow a little longer, a little larger, even a little lonelier, before finally allowing it to become a reality. This growth is unattainable if the dream is not first nurtured and acted upon.

Trying to love somebody is like jumping and expecting not to land on the ground again; there are many different kinds of gravities in this universe, but each of them shares this principle: only things lighter than air or winged creatures are able to defy them. So, until you know your fairytale and learn how to fly (or turn into a bubble, whichever comes first), expect your heart to always pull you back down to earth. Expect this, and your chances of landing on your feet will increase significantly.

So, as impatient as I am, my fear of gravity decreases daily as the hope I harbored all my girlhood has finally given me the feathers I need. I believe. Believe in a God that delivers your dreams.